Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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