just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
