just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Randomize
