How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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