Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
