It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
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