I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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