Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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