I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize