you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
