Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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