1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
