You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
