So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
