it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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