i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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