so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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