I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize