If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize