HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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