idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
