Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
