Your tits are I can't wait for
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize