Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
