Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
