I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
