Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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