Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
