I must be too annoying 4 u.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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