just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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