Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
