i don't like sucking hair
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
