I'm jealous of your bromance
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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