If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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