how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
