O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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