Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
