i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
