my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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