had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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