the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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