You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
