He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
