It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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