My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
