Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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