I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm at about main and main street
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
