Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
