Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
