Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
time to smoke my breakfast
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
