so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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