Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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