I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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