OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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