My nipple is on Facebook.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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