Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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