I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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