Small penises have feelings too.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
