i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
