dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
